This is one of the most common questions that I received from parents when I'm delivering Family Life Education in Schools. Be it from Primary, Secondary or Junior College, parents from all works of life filled me with this question.
Most children are keen to learn what adults are doing and will imitate what their parents do. Every child started to be a curious self, watching, observing, feeling, touching, tasting and willing to try everything they can lay their hands on. What causes them to lost interest in learning as they matured?
One of the key issues is lack of goals and motivation to learn. There are many causes that lead to lack in motivation. Bullying, peer pressure, distractions, subject too difficult, lacks supervision, constant putting down by adults etc, are just some of them.
Bullying is a common issue in schools. It was reported in the New Paper in 2014 that about 1 in 4 students were victims of bullying. Bullying can include physical and cyberbullying. The effects of may last for years and can even extend into adult years. As a counsellor, I've seen few cases of bullies and bullying victims being haunted by their traumatic pasts in their adult stage. The effects include poor work performance, being overly suspicious, and failed marriage.
During developmental years, you may realise that your child will be less and less obedient as they become older. This is because they have out grown their command and control age of about 8-9 years old. Who do they listen to then? Peers. Many children and youth wanted to be accepted by their peers as part of their cliques, hence they will dress and behave as part of them. It is important to know who your children's friends are as they will influence the behaviour of your child. However, do note that no matter how bad their friends are, Never disgrace them of their friends in front of their peers.
In this modern age of technology, there are many forms of distractions for children. Ranging from gaming to social media, there are many forms of Mobile Gadgets and Applications. These can be good learning aids but if used inappropriately, it will become a distraction to their learning. There are other forms of distractions such as Boy Girl Relationships among adolescence and sports or hobbies. No matter what the distractions are, the learning progress of learners will be affected.
Everyone is born with different abilities. Not everyone is gifted with the ability to learn well academically. Some are able to excel in some subjects while do badly in others. No matter what the case is, we need to understand that every child is unique in their own way. Appropriate amount of coaching and encouragement will help learners learn.
Due to the high cost of living, many parents are both working and lacks time in supervising the learning progress of their children. Some leave the duty of care to their helpers but there are limited knowledge that helpers can impart to the children. To ensure that learners learn effectively, parents need to set aside time to communicate and learn together with their children to enhance their learning effectiveness.
How do you manage situations when your children did not perform up to expectations? Scolding, punishment, blaming? Ask yourself if any of the above approaches works? Reprimanding and putting down children will only diminish their self esteem, confidence and motivation to learn. Understanding their challenges and work towards helping them understand difficult concepts to enhance their learning. When your child is not learning, asking effective questions and praising their efforts appropriately will boost their confidence in learning.
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